I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
