he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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