Im at strip club and am horny
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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