I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
