So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize