I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
