omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
