Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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