a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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