I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
