is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
