a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Actions speak louder than pants.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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