I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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