I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
