all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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