go do what you do best...puke behind churches
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
