CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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