Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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