Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
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