i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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