I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
