I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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