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Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
