i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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