he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
ttyl tear gas
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
