so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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