My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
