I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
