dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
