im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
