Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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