Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
