I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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