at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
