Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
