Heybabeimwearingurpanties
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
