We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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