Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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