she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
