Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
