Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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