Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
