I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
