Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
