apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize