Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
this is an emotional support booty call
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
