guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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