Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
