apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
