She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
