have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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