i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
