Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
