im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
