Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
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I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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