You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
