if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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