Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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