Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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